Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
