she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
