Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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