I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
