last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
