I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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