I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think people are normalizing furries
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
