boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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