I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
