so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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