yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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