So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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