I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
