paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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