I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
