wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
