You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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