tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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