Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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