So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
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My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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