We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dicks are not precious.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
