You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
