I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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