WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize