I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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