are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
