I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
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Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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