we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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