I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
