matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
that's an acceptable place to lick
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
