there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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