I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize