I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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