It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My first STD was from a foam party
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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