.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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