I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
