so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
