I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
