I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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