no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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