Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
