On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
