TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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