i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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