the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
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I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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