Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
