I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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