So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
