Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
