hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
