Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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