remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
