something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
