what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
