So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
