how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just want nice things and good sex
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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