I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
