i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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