Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
