Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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