he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
