But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
