Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
