she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize